Fred Correspondence from Tofino

Here's my tale told to Fred back when I was in Tofino:

Nov. 14
Jay has sworn me to secrecy on the exact location of the secret surf spot, or to it's specific title. It definitely isn't Nootka, we drive there regularly along a branching and decrepit labyrinth of crumbling logging roads for about forty five minutes to this guy's property, and he charges surfers five bucks to surf there. It's useless to kooks such as ourselves, it will be months before I'm qualified to even get in the water there. There's a south facing point break where the waves wrap around apeninsula of rocky shoreline. Boulders stick out of the water all over the place, and others are hidden just beneath the surface. Territorial sea Lions swim around, and fuck surfers up. Most of the surfers there are sponsored, and some arrive with a posse of photographers and beer drinking helper monkey's. spot only really forms when the pacific swells breach eighteen feet. When it does form, it's a clean barrel for about thirty yards in one spot, and down the beach a bit is an eighty yard ride that ends on a huge boulder. I've only seen it form proper once- and it's spectacular. Jay was in the water but out of his comfort zone. He was mostly surviving. Only one guy had the guts to try the barrel, and he got tossed. It's steep and heavy, and the waves crashes down onto a shallow plateau where you can rack up hospital bills.Jay's original plan- and we came dangerously close to doing this- was to lease a patch of mud from the property owner there, and spend the winter getting rained on in the middle of nowhere. We camped there for the first three nights, and it was never sunny, and it got dark at 6:30, and our minds slowly began to slip away. We set up his kitchenette and stood under it for hours devising fantastic ways to brew coffee using a frying pan, old newspaper, and empty water bottles, and surgical tubing. by the end of each of those three nights we became a little bit less sane, until we were playing devious mind games with one another, and playing chess on hand drawn chess boards, in which we re-drew the board anew each turn. A storm came, and blew away Jay's kitchenette, and that was that, we were outta there. The road was flooded out, we drove through a river and the water started seeping in through the doorwells. Now we're in the hostel. Which is supreme luxury, and only 18 bucks a night. I might try to find a job here. From wednesday to sunday, I had no showers and my balls became kind of sticky.

Nov 15

Jay didn't surf this morning, he was wasted from yesterday, and is saving his juice for tomorrow when we hit up the secret spot. So I was out alone in some crazy ass senseless waves that were huge, formless, and relentless. I'd fight for fifteen minutes to beat the break. Just when I thought I was safe, a formless monstrosity came bearing down on me- i'd paddle ahead and punch through, only to see another motherfuciker gotta go now. I kept paddling further out till I was nearly in the middle of the bay, and still these moses raping waves were coming down on me. I was the only guy in the whole bay, and it was intimidating. There was a rip. Everytime I tried to catch something I'd end up above the curl, my knees on the board, reefing back to keep from nosing, but being late and on the lip as it curled, I'd just nose in. The waves were unkind, and I was rolling over in the break three times. When I popped Up another wave would be bearing down (jay explained that it was wind swell unformed, disorganized waves with no period, and therefore relentless) If you recall, Mackenzie has this island that breaks up the big swells- well the waves were wrapping around and smashing in alternately from two different directions. There was a monster tree, like Odin's morning star, tumbling around, trying to murder me. I cowered, gave in to fear, and by 10am the good part of my day was over. Jay is shaking his head and I'm disapt to probe the genuflection.

Nov. 17
Jay ripped his brand new wetsuit today, a fin hooked his thigh, and gouged through the neoprene and partway into Jay's thigh. we had to go to the drugstore to get that stuff sorted out. The Suit will need stitches.There's a German dude in our room who hides in the corner and won't look at us when we enter the room. I hope he leaves soon. He's making the poker players nervousNov 21Troy Came here with his grizzled Fort Mac pal Shawn a couple nights ago. First night Troy brought out the guitar for Rhyme time on the hostel patio, and a bunch of girls crowded around. But Troy began to cryptically suggest that one of them was a Lesbian, and that it was time for her to come out of the closet. She became upset, and then Irate, and All the girls left. We sat around drinking Pacific pilsner.Yesterday we spent about four hours shopping for boards and suits. Troy was very cocky. He's been swimming at the pool for a month, and playing surf video games. He dropped a grand on a seven foot board. When we got to Cox bay the waves were 2-3 feet. He coudn't get past the break. But he did a little better today, now that he's adjusted his expectations apropriately. Jay keeps kicking Troy's ass at Othello, though, and Troy's afriad to bring out his guitar again because there are about six other sleepless tamborine men who can beat 'folk guitar hero' on the hardest setting, and they do so regularly in front of a rapt audience. In the evening it's like an open mike event. My surfing's kicking ass, I'm going down the line. I'm getting stronger everyday. somebody stole our beer.

Nov.28
the Surfing Is getting good. Troy was going down he line a bit, I'm going down the line Topside. Jay got barrelled, proper, for the first time in his life, two days ago, and drank himself stupid, then went around the hostel trying to prove to people that two equals one. Yesterday was a hangover day, but the day before was an epic surf session. We wee in the water for five hours. When the swell peaked it was at about six feet- and my lord that is some scary fucking shit to be out in. I dealt with it though, and catching those big ones and riding them topside is a thrill. Beating the break in those conditions though, is like trench warfare, You're shell shocked afterwards, and you wake up bolt upright in bed after a phantom dream wave comes lurching down on top of you. You have really got to find a way to get the fuck out here long enough to get into it. You're not getting any younger!Lot's of partying since troy got here, and when we're not drinking or surfing, Jay's playing wow, so it's tough to find the time to make a proper post. Vancouver was interesting, I'll get back to you.

Nov. 28

Jay's been waking up at four AM to play WOW, he's got his epic mount, he's up to level 62. And you can't be one of the most powerful guys in the game and stil have a job in meatspace, that'sjust silly.I'm thinking Christmas is going to look Like this:I bus to Edmonton around december fifteenth, get my shots and my travel insurance, then get in car with you and troy and drive to California on the 26th, to hook up with Jay, then to Mexico. That's how it's looking. Commmunicate withTroy about that, and get more time off than what you got. It's not enough to get anywhere with surfing. I've been here for three weeks and I'm almost entry level. Jay left his cell behind on purpose.We Met Kim the event planner from Toronto and took her surfing, her wet suit didn't fit and she got blue lips. Surf conditions were bad today, crappy small broken windswell at North chesterman's, plus Kim had Hypothermia, and we had to Mind her. No bringing gils surfing unless they have a friend to play with in the break water.

Dec. 8

I'll prolly be Back in the city around the twelfth or thirteenth.